(Frozen) Pipe Dream

Been a long time. Holidays and such. Apologies. I am making great progress but, as usual, there are snags. Such as winter.
Frozen pipes and water meter. I’m such a lucky gal, aren’t I?

Prevention plan:
1. Leave cabinet doors open if meter is under a sink.
2. Wrap meter in blankets and/or pipe insulation.*
3. Keep kitchen ceiling fan turning clockwise on low to pull hot air downward. (If you have one.)
4. Keep heat on 70.
5. When is very cold out leave a trickle of hot and cold on in each faucet.

Battle plan (if they freeze):
1. Curse loudly, it helps.
2. Open all your faucets to allow pressure to escape.
3. Remove the insulation or blanket from meter and blow dry that mutha on low. For at least an hour.
4. Daydream, grab your electronic device of choice or a buddy to talk to. This takes FOREVER.
5. If waters still not moving, call the water company. It could be frozen coming into your house. Don’t try and turn the main water valve off, if there is ice there you’ll cause destruction. Epic destruction.
6. If they show up, fiddle around and tell you it’s blocked after the meter, I’m sorry for you. Locate any pipes in your exterior walls and blow a space heater at the wall. (Assuming you cannot first access with the blow dryer.) If your space heater doesn’t blow air put a box fan in front to move the warm air.

What not to do:
1. Do not touch the blow dryer to the metal.
2. DO NOT PUT SPACE HEATERS AGAINST YOUR WALL.
3. Never use any kind of open flame for these maneuvers. You can burst your pipes and burn your house down.
4. If you use a box fan and heater combo, keep them a decent distance apart.
5. Do not leave any of this crap unattended.
6. Just use your noggin and be safe, man!

*I tried pipe insulation on the meter in my house to no avail. Blankets are easily removed so I can proceed to the Battle Plan more easily.

Apologies for the brevity but I’m writing this with one hand while the other holds a blow dryer. Cheers!

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